I think social phobia is what it’s called now. At least that’s what the psychiatrist called it. It used to be called social anxiety disorder when I first got diagnosed.
No matter what you call it, it makes video calls and meetings miserable. I get nervous about them as soon as I wake up. It doesn’t matter if the meeting isn’t until 3 in the afternoon. I’ll worry about it all day.
“How’s it going to go?”
“Will anyone be mad?”
“What if they get mad?”
“What if someone yells at me?”
“What if I don’t know what to say?”
“What if I look stupid?”
Thoughts like these bounce around my brain all day before they coalesce into focused worry about an hour before the meeting.
This is when I start to get physically nervous. It feels like I’m trembling on the inside. I’m full of nervous energy yet stuck in place by anxiety. My head kind of pounds.