It’s a feeling I get rarely, but one that is so bad it’s indescribable. My heart constricts, I inhale faster, my brows tense. Inside, I feel vulnerable, depressed, hopeless, and terribly scared. Classic response to “someone is out to get me”, aka discrimination in its higher forms.
Why did I get such a strong response? I think it’s because I’m part of the community that was being attacked. Folks will say this incident is “shameful” and “against humanity”. You know what? My heart wasn’t really thinking about humanity as I watched that attack. It was something far more primal. It was the result of an inherent defense mechanism that perhaps viewed this as a threat to my own existence. Regardless of the psychology, it definitely wasn’t altruism.