After years of studying the matter, both on and off the couch, I have a pretty clear thesis on why I struggle emotionally.
Developmental injuries left me feeling periodically worthless and unlovable, which I have been ineffectually trying to remedy by frantically scrambling to somehow make myself more lovable and worthwhile.
I’ve since learned that worth and love need not be hard to earn. Making a contribution and not being an ass are pretty much all it takes. Or should take. But that wasn’t my experience and the repercussions are still echoing through my nervous system.