I hate this life. I hate almost everything about it. I hate that I have to sell my time and, according to the middle management overlords, my autonomy, creativity, and literal thoughts to get access to the resources I need to survive. I hate that I spent 40+ years of my life having to figure out the least awful way to sell myself for access to those resources. I hate that I have to steal moments of joy any fucking way I can to convince myself that I should want to wake up and endure another day of this shit.
I hate that I never felt safe, comfortable, or supported enough to want children. I don’t regret not having them, but I do regret the multitude of ways these fuckers made that shit unbelievably dangerous for both me and any children I would have. I hate that I have to spend all my time trying to circumvent the life-endangering obstacles created specifically to make my life harder.