“Why don’t you relax? Obviously, I was only joking.”
This is a phrase that’s often thrown out by abusive people who get called out on their hurtful behavior. At some point, our society has to recognize that calling something a “joke” doesn’t make it right.
It is not easy to deal with other human beings. These days, I don’t talk to many people beyond my wife and kids. My wife works at the local school district, and on many days she comes home to tell me about the passive-aggressive swipes she has to endure.