If you find yourself reading this post, know that you are unfortunate enough to have been born on this planet. If you have been born, then you were born on a certain day of a certain month and at a certain time of a certain year. It also means you have a sun sign that bears testament to your assholery. Here’s what your zodiac sign says about you. Come and feel ashamed, you stinky little piece of rotting scum.
Aries (21 March — 19 April): You are an egotistical maniac who is always in a hurry to get somewhere. You demand way too much from everyone and react much too soon to everything. You really must be ignored by everyone or sent to a correction facility. You suck.