I was scrolling through my old posts today. I used to post pictures of plastic bottles or rant about litter on the sidewalk, free from the slew of thoughts that would fly through my mind if I attempted that now: this is weird, this is annoying, this is insignificant. Small aspects of the world felt novel, and my world was stable enough that I had the energy to pay attention.
I’m older now. I’m almost done with high school, and I did almost half of it over Zoom. I’m cynical and I’m anxious and I’m tired. I feel guilty on a regular basis because the issues that used to compell and empower me feel obligatory.