Even though my parents had a traditional marriage, my mother never romanticized being a stay-at-home parent. She told me, in fact, to do the opposite.
“Never depend on a man,” she told me multiple times. “Get educated. Get a job.”
So I did.
I got a Bachelor’s degree and then a Master’s. I worked.
And then I got married for the first time.
Becoming a Married Single Mother
What I didn’t know at the time was that just by marrying a man, I had significantly improved HIS life and career outlook while hurting mine.
While he was likely to give me an extra seven hours of housework per week, I was likely to save him an hour.
While he was likely to make 10–40% more money, my chances of a successful career plummeted. While he could dedicate time to building his career in his 30s, my chances of doing so were interrupted because we had children. I went on maternity leave, and then once returning to work, I continued to be our children’s primary parent.
Once our children were born, I didn’t have the option to spend long hours at work grinding. I had to leave promptly at 4:30 to pick up our children from daycare, and then spend the rest of the evening on my second job: taking care of them and our home.