Everybody experiences painful emotions: From grief and panic to anger and disappointment, emotional suffering is universal and unavoidable.
But how people respond to emotional suffering varies dramatically.
For some, emotional pain leads to a storm of negative thoughts, self-defeating behavior, and even more painful emotions. But others seem to bounce back almost immediately from emotional pain.
Thankfully, this emotional resilience is not quite as mysterious as it looks…
In my own work as a psychologist, I’ve seen that the following four habits are especially powerful ways to become more emotionally resilient.
1. Let go of things you can’t control
Many people fall into the trap of using the illusion of control as a defense mechanism against helplessness.
As much as we dislike painful feelings like anxiety, grief, shame, frustration, and the like, there’s one emotion that most of us really dislike — and as a result, will go to some pretty extreme lengths to avoid: Helplessness.